Suddenly things are unfinished.
Old friendships and relationships that went wrong have been opened again in my heart. But why?
Everyone always says you need closure after relationships go wrong, but is that even possible?
I guess i’ll make an attempt.
Dear old friends,
I wonder where you are now.
What you’re up to.
Where you’re going.
Where you’ve been since we parted ways.
I have been thinking about us lately. How we used to be and the fun we had. How roughly things ended. I am beginning to remember the good moments – those I never thought I could ever remember.
After we split I felt so much negativity — towards you, towards us. I knew then we were better off apart. We were better off never speaking again. At that point, all I remembered were the terrible moments. The places where I screwed up and the times you hurt me the most.
Now, I can only remember the good moments. I can only remember the times you surprised me. The times where you brought me so much joy – where we laughed together and felt a connection. Suddenly I miss you, and in some moments, wonder what would have happened if things didn’t go so wrong.
I know that everything happens for a reason. We recognize toxic people and we move on from them. It takes a while to notice, but once we do we take a full on sprint in the opposite direction. We fled from each other, and now I feel we’ll never stop running.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the good moments more. I’m sorry that we tore apart. I’m sorry we lost who we were together. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to mend.
But we are where we are now. Without the way things went down, we may not be who and where we are today. Without a split, maybe things would have gotten worse. Maybe we wouldn’t be successful individuals.
It is all a load of maybes, of hypotheticals.
Maybe if one little thing had been different we would still be together. Back where we left off. But maybe too we weren’t ever truly happy. Maybe we thought it was perfect. Maybe we thought it was right. Yet maybe too we were just not meant to be.
I don’t regret a single second. Our time together was a moment in time that will always be special to me. You hold a place in my heart — in that place I’ll never forget you.
I still love you and the time we had. I hope you have found new people, as I have, that are a better fit. I hope one day things won’t feel numb, but I’m glad I’m at least seeing the light again, and I hope you are too.