A blue butterfly floats past me on a bad day.
I instantly think of you.
I think of the hope you feel when a blue butterfly catches your eye.
The butterfly is your Dad, checking in and reminding you he is here and there is hope.
You must miss him.
I know how much you hurt, how much you ache the pains of everyone surrounding you.
Then you see him, and you choose joy. Your light shines bright because he is always with you.
That is what you have done for me.
As soon as I was born you planted a seed in me. A seed of joy and life, laughter and love, grace and light. You have taught me everything, from the basics to the fundamentals, but the most important lesson I have taken from you involves strength, joy and perseverance.
Your life story still gives me chills. I think of you growing up. I think of you fighting for us in those trying times. I see the struggles you faced, I feel the pain you felt. I think back to my childhood and am amazed at how hard you worked to make sure I never had to feel that pain for myself. You fought for where you are, and then fought harder to make sure we never had to. You are strong.
Your smile is contagious. The joy you have in your heart is not trapped, it is not tamed. It illuminates every path you walk on. No matter what is happening in your life, or in mine, you take the high road. You show the people that have hurt you kindness and forgiveness. You offer your help to all friends in need, and you give your whole self to them. You smile through every step. You are joyful.
You know what you want out of life. There are many opportunities you never got the chance to achieve, but that does not stop you from creating them for me. You always make sure I know I can do absolutely anything with the life I have been given. You push me to succeed. You have taught me that no matter what people say, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. You shine as an amazing example of someone who can achieve anything. You are perseverant.
I am grateful. Grateful you are my best friend. Grateful for all you have taught me. I know there were many times where I did not make your life easy, for my name does mean bitter. I sometimes wish that I could take those times back and always be the amazing kid you deserve, but I know that you think that is silly. For you have taught me that nothing in life is going to perfect. We are never going to get to where we are without falling, as long as we pick ourselves back up and realize where we have wronged.
My name not only means bitter, but also “comes around in the end.” For no matter what our family has gone through, our life has always come back around because of you.
Happy birthday Momma. I love you most.