Teachers Read Rate My Professors Reviews

“They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.”

-Terry Pratchett

Indeed, knowledge is preferable to ignorance – particularly when it comes to hilarious things mean people have written about you anonymously on the Internet. This is the driving principle behind television host Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” which is exactly what it sounds like.

In the noble pursuit of scientific knowledge, we at CisternYard News decided to do our own version of Kimmel’s segment. We discovered what professors here at College of Charleston have to say about the mean, bizarre and sometimes (sort of) constructive things written about them on ratemyprofessors.com, an online platform where college students can anonymously review their professors.

Reviews ranged from personal comments …

Brian Lanahan, Education

“He’s a jerk and takes pride in it. He also tries to scare everyone and intimidate them about the workload, but in the end he’s a good teacher. Just not a very likeable guy.”

Probably a student who was on their phone while I was explaining things.

Whitney Dirks-Schuster, History

“She has very little ability to analyze, but rather recite facts (which she sometimes forgets). She’s very pretentious and speaks in this affected voice to make her sound more profound.”

I’m glad that I provide you with facts. Did you know that camels – when they defecate – you can actually burn that directly because it’s so dry that it doesn’t have enough water in it to protect you from using it for fires? I like my facts.

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Photos by Madeline Little

John Creed, Political Science

“This guy is a total hippie. He’s a northerner who thinks he’s the only enlightened one this side of the Mason-Dixon line.” [laughs] “He should not be injecting his hidden political agenda whether it’s right or left wing.”

So I guess they’re not really sure if it’s right or left wing, so I’m not sure how much injecting of my hidden political agenda I was really doing.

… to the not-as-outwardly aggressive classroom critiques …

Michael Owens, English

“His class was boring.”

Oh.

Brian Lanahan, Education

“The class was really easy until we did the lesson plans. He was helpful but really made us figure out things for ourselves. Don’t get on his bad side… BTW don’t text in class he will take your phone.”

Eh, this is a nice one.

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Whitney Dirks-Schuster, History

“Very difficult to make above a B+ because she believes only 1-2 people per class should get that.”

I actually often feel like I grade higher than I should. If every student in my class earned an A, they would all get A’s. So, yeah, if you earn the grade then you’ll get one.

… to anonymous declarations of professors’ “hotness” by selecting a red chili pepper icon …

Michael Owens, English

I guess that wasn’t the person who thought I was boring.

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Joy Vandervort-Cobb, Theater

I love the chili peppers! I tell students all the time – if you’re going to do Rate My Professors, then please please give me a chili pepper! Hotness- that’s me.

*This article first appeared in the October 2015 issue of The Yard

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Madeline is a senior at the College studying International Studies and Political Science. She just returned to Charleston from a year abroad in Jordan, where she discovered her passion for traveling throughout the Middle East.


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